Confession...I Paid For It...But It Was Worth It

New York is harder than I imagined to feel a part of. I went on a pub march by myself from the East Village - to Chelsea - to the West Village last night. I met a few really great guys...but too many men in their 40's trying to WOW me with their job or money. Seriously, I don't care what your business card says! I care about what you find interesting. And more than telling me I have beautiful eyes! I'd love to go back to a cute boy's little poor apartment if we have shit to shoot all night. Or a fun movie to watch. Or something in common! After we have something in common I'm going to want to kiss you! Oh well!

The long story short - I got quite drunk - I got a few business cards of Finance Men - and i took a sad, cold, slow Taxi back to Erik's pad. I fell asleep on his sofa. Woke up this morning a but bruised in the head. I also slept with my socks on..so my feet are sore.

I'm feeling like i'm wasting all my potential. I'm 22 gay, and single in New York City...but i can't find a decent guy that wants to talk tracks or cinema or politics or sexual politics. I must be coming at it wrong.

So now for my confession. I was feeling down an hour ago so I bought a Instant Access to a jackoff site. In case you care, I wanked it to this:

It was really hot...straight Brit boys fucking around. You can see it too here: Matt M & Sammy. Sammy is gorgeous!

So I hope to have an encounter with a real boy this weekend. I told Erik I'd find another place to stay by Monday night...so that puts some pressure!