Coincidence?

I'm sitting in a Starbucks across the street from Balboa Park. I'm going to hike up to the San Diego Zoo after I awaken my hungover slouched body with another coffee. It seems life is a pendulum of caffine UPS and alcohol SLEEPS. I did get a months worth of exercise all in one afternoon yesterday. Biking Coronado made me again consider ceasing the cigarettes. I have not smoked a fag yet today...I'm hoping to make it until the sun sets before I allow myself another.

Last night - I read from a book! "A Moveable Feast" - Hemmingway. Its a collection of short stories ( and perhaps journal entries) of times in Paris. I've read the book before... and I figured since I'm lugging it around I might as well read it from time to time. Reading from it reminds me to write more. It what I'm suppose to be doing when I'm not doing something else.


I've been asked how dirty am I?!?! I have a week's worth of clothes. Its all rolled tight in my backpack. I wash my clothes every chance I get...which has been at least every 5-6 days this entire journey. And I don't smell - I smell like a boy who sweats and drinks and lives life pretty hard. So there.

Anyway - here is the crazy coincidence - a cute guy who sitting a few tables away was also reading Hemmingway. I tried to get noticed but from the way he's watched a few of the girls who walked in - guy is straight.

Beach Stunts - Buff Boys!

I thought this was cute...silly games played on beaches with buff american jocks. I'd let him bring me home. Twice! lol

a great nights sleep - now for a ride

I have a plan, courtesy of James - who emailed me the suggestion yesterday. I'm going to meet him at a ferry near the hotel to cross over the bay to the island called Coronado. Once there we are going to rent bicycles and ride along the shore past beaches and a military station. He also has a camera - so we're going to take some photos as well.

I havent been on a bike in years. Makes me think I'm slowly falling out of shape. Now that I'm 23 it may be time to start with the crunches and exercise. My tanning could still use a bit of help too! I hate being known as a pale pasty English guy. I rarely become self-conscious about my body...but when I'm in a tropical place with beaches I suddenly feel like I eat too many chips and drink too many pints. I think I'll quickly do some pushups!


On a sad note - my ipod is acting strange. It shuts itself off randomly. I hope it can hang on just a few more weeks!

Oh - and whomever is calling themself "GoHomeBritFag" who has emailed me all the hate. Fuck you too!

First Glimpse of the Pacific

As of 2 hours ago I finally feel like I'm on the exact opposite side of the world. I grew up on the Atlantic...the cold Atlantic. This is the tropical Pacific. And yes - I've had a few beers so I'm waxing poetic. lol

I'm in a Holiday Inn overlooking a harbor and then the Pacific beyond that. I mean the water is RIGHT across the street. When i got to the bus terminal there was wireless...so i found a bargain at this place for this one night. ($70)

also i just saw a huge American Navy boat patrolling in the distance. hmm

I SWEAR UPON MY SOUL that the ride on the Greyhound bus from Phoenix to San Diego here today (9 HOURS of hell!) - will be the last time i ride a bus on this trip. That piss closet at the rear of the bus makes the streets of Paris look like Heaven. I hope i can ride rails from this point forward. And then fly back to New England.

some random thoughts today:
- the view out the window on the bus ride was what i'd imagine Mars to look like.

- So happy to be in a large city with taxi's again.

- "no guns" signs on bus doors like "no smoking"

- been smoking less cigarettes...but the prices are so different from place to place.
I paid more than 8 american dollars in New York City for a pack!

I don't miss TV anymore...but nice trunk!

now look - you got me distracted!

so I write that journal entry about my experience at the wheel...and i get another email asking me what i think of this...

let me again say that I am not hitchhiking sucking cock for cash....yet! lol



well - i'd spill my minerals over that video if i hadn't already when i took a shower earlier today. I need something to keep me motivated tonight!

cheers!

ps. no good record store here in town. really not much of anything in the downtown. its like a ghostcity after 6pm. but listening to Hovercraft's "Experiment Below". mind blowing chaos

borrowed time

so my flight home from JFK in New York City to Heathrow is on April 16th. I'm having to evaluate how much money I have versus how much time versus the distance I am from NYC. I think tonight will be my last in Phoenix. I was going to go to Las Vegas...but I think it may make more sense to go directly to San Diego.

The plan is to hop off and on this Amtrack route that services San Diego to Seattle. I think I'd like about 2 weeks on the Pacific Coast...especially San Francisco. It seems I have to start budgeting for airfare from Seattle to the Boston or New York. From what I'm hearing it would take me a painful series or rides to cross the USA from Seattle to NYC by bus or train. Evidentally there aren't too many places to stop in between. I'm just glad to have escaped the winter. I'm starting to think I need to find a permanent home closer to the Equator!

I just got an email asking....

did i spill my seed in the desert?

Umm...i did in my car once while I was driving because I was so bloody bored! It was the first time I'd done that. And it was a bit gross because i wiped it off the back of my hand onto the passenger seat. lol

There were about 5 other cars on the road over the span of a week. Scary - alien - incredible. I can't even begin to tell you how many ideas I got for music videos on that journey.

Anyways, for those who like to see new porn - I jacked it to this one last night at the Best Western. This was after striking out at the "Amsterdam" Bar. Which incidentaly had a fantastic backyard. But had no relation to the wonderful city in the Netherlands.

Getting rough with it!

So for that recap...

NOTE: Although i didnt blog while i was crossing Texas and New Mexico..i did write in a little notebook...i'm piecing some stories back together from it

Thursday:
About a day drive north of Albuqurque I was directed to ShipRock, this natural castle of rock under a huge open sky. I guess it could be considered a lone ship in a sea of desert. I drove off the highway down a sand road. The way there took far longer than it appeared. The rock city seemed 2 kilometer away...but it was so huge it was probably 10! I got to the foot of this gigantic rock and i was struck by how beatifully cinematic the view was looking out. It also reminded me of that old puppets movie The Dark Crystal. I sat there and smoked a spiff i had gotten back at a bar in the wasteland of west texas. It was blazing hot so I got back on the way. I lost a hubcap on that road...luckily i wasnt billed for it!

Yes I am Alive!

Sorry to go off the radar for so long. It was my birthday week...I am now 23 years. I decided to follow the advice of my father and rent a car to tour the American SouthWest. I was getting tired of all the city streets and CraigsList scams...so I left Dallas Texas a week ago and drove West.

To be honest it was a week of personal reflection and isolation - something i think i needed to do for myself. I slept in the car in the desert a few night. I spent a day in Albuquerque - which was so strange.

I just returned the rental car to a lot in Phoenix Arizona! Its HOT HOT HOT here! Got a room at the Best Western near downtown. Its next to a place called "the Irish Cultural Center"...but i havent seen anyone here who could qualify as Irish. LOL

Ok. I have to sleep - but now that i have a room and internet connection I'll write more of my travels in the desert tonight

Flame On! And You Can Dance...For Inspiration!

It's true - I have a soft spot for cute guys who dance badly. I do not consider myself a dancer...so I don't make public performances like this boy does for his friends...and an entire swimming pool! I'm laughing with him - not at him :)

So happy - So drunk - I adore Austin TX

Earlier this afternoon I was so happy I almost started crying. It was close to looney - but totally genuine. I met a UT student, Gabe, for lunch at Oma's Kitchen in that Doobie Mall. I had a Korean Beef with rice...and also snuck sips from a flask Gabe had brought in his backpack...full of Jack Daniels. It was cute and romantic. We met from CraigsList on Thursday...he just wanted to buy me lunch to talk about going on a semester abroad to SOAS in London next fall.

Gabe only drank a bit - as he convinced me to go on a short trip to a place called Mount Bonnell. (authors note...I have kept drinking since noon). Standing on this cliff above the river that runs through Austin - hearing all these little black birds singing, the warm sun...and then I realized I'm turning 23 years next week! Thats when the tears welled. I felt successful. I felt accomplished...and like I AM living my life as I wish, not cowering to my fears.

So on this mountain we smoked Parliment Lights - and I swigged more whiskey - for an hour without speaking much accept about the view from Mt.Bonnell. Then it was 2pm and Gabe had to do to class. He just dropped me back on Guadalupe. Wireless is everywhere here! I love Austin.

As a recap...Last night I walked 6th Street and avoided many scary bars. Loud packs of drunk girls everywhere. Not my scene!

I did kiss a cute athletic guy I met at Club DeVille last night. We sat in his car and smoked a spliff he had...then we went at it for a few minutes...he asked me to come home with him...but I got an odd safetly vibe and declined. Instead I accepted a ride back to the Days Inn. (note to music friends...do the Pixies play on every bar stereo?!?! I think I heard Debaser in 2 different place within 15 minutes!)


Apparently there is a huge international Film and Music festival that is about to begin. I met a group of guys from New York City who are in Austin the next week to write about the events and critque pictures. Unfortunatley an expensive pass is required to attend the festivities...so I'll be missing that.

I did make it to Antoines Records store. Awesome stuff! I didnt buy anything...I'm sick of carrying the backback..its heavy allright! I may see a store called "WaterLoo"! I hope ABBA is not involved in that place. LOL

Leave that hair alone!

I had to share this because it begs far more questions about men's vanity than a stomach full of pints can explain...

Trail of the Dead

I left Rice University in Houston this morning - where I had a great stay with a student who is from Redbridge London, but going to school for Asian Studies in Texas (which seems a tad odd to me). Brent caught me up on some slang and we listened to hot tracks online from a beatmaker called Sebastian. Intense zap sounds. I'll post a link when I locate the myspace page again. His roommate Doug was keen on me keeping a better journal so other young gay students might be able to use my travel notes to plan their own journeys. So for Doug lending me a razor to shave, and buying the beers - I will try to write more.


I promised last week that I would refrain from rants on the interstate bus system in America...but i need to break that promise to regain a measure of sanity. Filthy! Gross! Cramped!
Some advice to others:
1. Never take a seat near the back. The toilet smell is rancid
2. Cough and hold wadded tissues when unsightly strangers glance at the empty seat next to you.
3. Don't fall asleep with earphones on

Ok. I feel better. Five hours this afternoon on a Greyhound bus from Houston to Austin was far from pleasant. It made the hour walk from the bus station down to University of Texas campus seem a welcome relief. I'm mascarading as a 'UT' student at the Dobie student mall right now. Lots of wireless!

In honor of arriving in the capitol of Texas, which incidentaly has a Capitol Dome just like the one in Washington, I listened to the "And You Will Know Us By The Trail of Dead" album Madonna today.

Why are girls forcing me to buy cookies?

Ok, I just saw another group of young girls in green dresses walking down the sidewalk carrying boxes of cookies. They stop EVERYONE they pass. Is this why its so easy to get fat? Little girls stopping you and guilting you to buy sweets.

The 4 foot joint w/Shirtless Brit Boy

Kids smoking the grass - it happens everywhere. From my country to yours...

Backing Up...More about Jeff

Jeff was the type of bloke who confuses the hell out of me. He was bisexual - but afraid to make any play happen. He told me I have beautiful eyes on a notepad because he couldnt utter the words to my face. But he was dying for me to parade him through my Macbook and the downloaded boys movies I have.

He said the strangest thing...Jeff saw this one video of one guy dropping his mineral load into the other's mouth...then kiss him and suck his own cum back into his own mouth.

Jeff: "You can't get the type of deep intimacy with a girl":



Hmm. i guess you cannot. lol

You can see the free video here

Friends in High Places

I'm sitting at Byzantio Cafe...in Houston Texas! Friends, let me tell you it was no easy journey that got me here. And to answer many email sentiments I've gotten: Yes - traveling alone and trusting the kindness of strangers is a difficult journey. I try my best to be open and trusting yet careful without being suspicious of everyone I meet. I don't want to lose faith in people because of a small minority of rogues.

On Saturday afternoon I left Jeff's house as his girlfriend was coming home that night. I made plans to meetup with a college boy with a cute photo from CraigsList...but when I got to the cafe he was there but not alone! He was sitting in a booth with 3 larger and not-so-hot friends...and within 5 minutes of conversation and introductions they thought I was "for sale" for ALL OF THEM for the night. I think the one guy who was largest and most intimidating could read my instant shock and hesitation. I realized in a flash that I has gotten myself in trouble. Trapped? I excused myself to use the toilet, and exited the cafe via the rear. Quite scared I ran 5, 10, perhaps 15 blocks...with my 10 kilo backpack...until I got to a roadside hotel. Out of breath I checked into a room just to be able to safely take my bag off and rest.

Rattled by this rush I telephoned Erik in New York City to calm me down. He did this whole "I told you so" about my internet adventuring, but also soothed my panic. Back when I was in NYC he had offered to introduced me to friends of his who lived in Ft. Myers FL...but they were a gay couple in their late 40's so I had declined. Yes - I had made a mistake - age is irrelevent when it comes to compassion. Erik saved the day by calling Peter and Bill for me right then. Peter and Bill drove to the hotel an hour later and brought me back to their incredible large and well decorated Adult estate. It was actually a thrilling rescue. They were instantly personable and we related just as I do to anyone my own age. We talked about music and the cities I'd seen and recognizing the seedier elements of America.

Here is where things get crazy. Bill is a managing executive at an advertising firm...and he is also a pilot. On sunday morning Bill offers to give me a seat on his jet which he was going to fly to Houston for the day to see art. At 8am we drove to a small airfield - got onto a luxurious but tiny 6 seat jetplane. And Florida was left behind. A 3 hour flight seems like forever when seated in such a small vibrating vehicle. I drank a vodka orange to remain muted.

We landed on a spectacular island called Galveston. Then Peter drove the company car across a bridge and towards the huge skyline of Houston. Incredible. As it was Texas I expected to see cactus and sand...but instead it looked just like Florida with Palm Trees.

First thoughts as we arrived at the Museum of Fine Arts...that accent does remind me of the president. Buts its cute too. Especially from the bigger guys. I think there was some mutual admiration of accents happening at the Damien Hirst exhibition. Fantastic stuff there! We also drove to see the Rothko Chapel. A hexigonal open room with a bench centered within walls holding sold black. The entire temple is placed in a peaceful garden. An oprn slate to transmit all faiths together. Powerful and reflective indeed! Bill said he's come over 30 times and each visit reaffirms his beliefs that religions will someday coexist in peace.

We ended the long day at Cousins with a few rounds of vodka soda. Talked about photography and possible ways to backpack to the Pacific coast. I slept on the couch in Peter and Bill's suite at the Four Seasons downtown. They checked out early so Bill could go to a meeting back in Galveston. It seems Peter doesn't work - his job is to keep Bill happy. Gay love is complicated yet true.

To Peter and Bill and enourmous thanks of gratitude! I will send you those stories you liked.

Soccer Practice - Football Gear!

This is one of the most brilliant homemade shorts I've ever witnessed. A gay guy raids a locker room and targets a young hot footballer in a towel. Then a routine of almost naked young jocks float on by...

Men in Uniform

So today I attended a baseball game in Fort Meyers. I guess it was some element of a warm-up match...and quite frankly I don’t think the sport won me as a fan. It was so slow and boring. Although I did manage to get a warm-up of my own going with a few Coors Lights. Jeff, who I met last night in Fort Lauderdalew convinced me to come check out this game with him. He said it was a crucial American experience I should see. So this morning he drove us in his perfect new grey Saab convertible to Fort Myers (where he lives with his girlfriend!). I think we must have smoked about 10 fags on the 2 hour ride as we were blasting the new Bloc Party album and talking rubbish about some blokes we’d had drinks with last night. We saw the Boston Red Soxs lose to the Blue Jays (not sure where they are from). I decided to yell for Boston because I saw they had a cute player named Pauley. He didn’t play, just wandered around the sidelines. I think I caught his eye for a second when I yelled...Jeff said its not too often a guy with a British accent is heard at an event like this. A larf indeed!

I’m in Jeff’s house right now..his sometimes girlfriend is in Orlando with her family this week. There are photos of her everywhere inside. I’m at a table in his yard behind their house. Palm trees – sunshine – wireless – and another cold pint! Jeff is inside heating a pizza. Can’t get too pissed too early. And no – he hasn’t poked my arse yet. He asked I don't share any of the details on the internet as he is in a "open relationship" - and i could spoil that.

Thats What Friends Are For...

I just showed Jeff my favorite movies from my macbook.

We agreed this is one of our favorite scenes:



You can watch this sex party here.

Laws, Soap, Warming

Its becoming harder to get wireless for long enough to make connection with my blog everyday. I’m sorry to those who feel left out of the fun. I promise I’ll try harder. The past 3 days have been a jerk of a ride I’m afraid. The crazy weather made traveling difficult and at times a bit frightening. Another downer was I grew too quick an attachment for Mark in Hollywood. It turns out Mark was looking for a great story – and sex - more than he was truly connecting with me. So I feel slightly stupid. He also has a camera full of photos of me.

It’s odd, but in America there seems to be an undercurrent with gay men seeking young guys with uncut cocks. This is strange to me – as most the guys I’ve had the pleasure of visiting nude have also been uncut. I don’t think there is any difference...unless the guy doesn’t use soap. (Which is so repulsive at its worst I won’t go into it any further.) So my coveted uncut wang has again been photographed - but I'm willing to be at peace with this...Mark did provide me with a hotel room and food. I keep reminding myself that I only will live this once - nothing is permenent - so not to be afraid of irrational things such as a stranger possessing 100 photos of my naked body.

To continue...what a journey...large "hail", vicious winds, bad hangovers, and too much walking have taken some wind from my sails. I was consoled that at least I missed another blizzard in the north.

That was how I felt until last night. I regained my confidence in Fort Lauderdale last night – and had some incredible conversations about the world becoming warmer and climates rupturing. Scary stuff – but its good to hear other friends my age becoming aware and teaching each other about it. I also received a lengthy lecture about cigarettes. There are laws about everything in America...and always someone there to remind you of them. One of the last things I recall with clarity in the evening was convincing a policeman that it wasnt my fault I had an "open container"...and he laughed and made me pour the rest of my beer away. And that's when I met Jeff